The Ana Plague
by Lion Sove
Summary: Cartman informs everyone there is a new kind of plague. The "Ana Plague" is it a joke or will every male get infected?
1. The Ana Plague?

The Ana Plague

Cartman ran through the hallway, spotting the familiar redhead in the distance. He ran towards the Jew, panting like he'd just run a marathon.

Kyle sighed. "What do you what Cartman?" "WHERE'S ANA KAHL?" He yelled. The red head blinked. "Why?" He raised an eyebrow. Cartman stood straight up and grab the slim Jew by the collar. "IT'S AN EMERGENCY YOU FUCKIN JEW! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR JEWISH SHIT!" Cartman roared. Kyle rolled his eyes. "She's by her locker." He muttered. The brunette dropped him and ran towards his target's locker.

He looked around for the familiar orange and black haired girl. As soon as he found her he ran, well wobbled, over to her as fast as his chubby feet could go. He grabbed her shoulders as he panted.

"ANA! HAVE YOU HEARD YOU POOR LITTLE JEW?" Cartman howled. Ana sighed irritably, "I told you already dude I'm not Jewish." He tried again, "Ana! Have you heard Fellow Christian?" "I'm not Christian either." She mumbled pinching the bridge of her nose, a habit she developed from Stan. "THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" He shouted. "I'm Catholic, you idiot." The girl rolled her eyes. "WELL WHATEVER YOU ARE! HAVE YOU HEARD?" A crowd started to gather. "Heard what? And could you shut up a bit? You are attracting a crowd." Ana mumbled to the overweight boy.

"NO! EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW! GATHER AROUND TO HEAR THE LATIST! LAST NIGHT THERE WAS BREAKING NEWS THAT THERE IS A NEW KIND OF PLAGUE!" He screamed out.

Everyone began to mumble among their groups. "Like what?" Ana sighed. "THE ANA PLAGUE!" He shrieked.

Ana narrowed her eyes at him as everyone gasped. "And what, dare I ask, is the Ana plague?" The hot headed girl asked. "IT'S, OF COURSE, A PLAGUE THAT ATTRACKS GUYS TO GIRLS THAT ARE NAMED ANA!" Cartman explains. "Oh please, you expect everyone to believe that?" Ana muttered. As soon as she finished Wendy stomped over to them. "Cartman do you know how retarded you just sounded?" Wendy scowled. "IT'S TRUE! GIRLS! WATCH YOUR BOYFRIENDS AND BROTHERS! BECAUSE THEY _**WILL**_ GET INFECTED!" 'Cartman just sounded even more retarded than he already is. No one is going to believe that.' Ana thought. Wendy stepped in. "Ana, not that I believe him and stuff, but can you stay away from Stan…?" I blinked. Shocked. "What?" "Please, stay away from Stan." I stared at her as she walked away with everyone else. I stood there, frozen "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?"


	2. Banned

I walked through the empty hallways. I wasn't allowed in class anymore because of the "Ana Plague", the teachers won't let me in both because of the so called 'plague', and because the girls will kill them if they let me anywhere near the guys. I turned my head to the side and froze. I glared at the sight in front of me. Cartman's locker. I raised my fist and the noise echoed through the dead hallways as my fist connected with the locker door. I smirked proudly at the dent I made to my enemy's locker. "If only that was his fat head." I growled. "Who's head?" someone asked. I jump fifty feet in the air and turned to look behind me. "Butters? What the hell are you doing out of class?" I asked. "I-I just went t-to use the b-bathroom." He smiled. "May I-I ask why y-you're out of class?" he asked politely. I looked away, and then looked back. I looked down at my shoes. "They won't let me in class." I muttered. "Well golly. Why?" he asked. "Cartman made up this fake 'plague'." I responded with a glare at his locker. "Oh yeah, I've h-heard of I-it. He screamed it in the hallways this morning." He shook his head. "I don't want to sound mean or nothin', but all Cartman has in his head is a load of poo." He said. I stifled a laugh. He noticed and let out a smile. "I mean really, I wonder what's up his butt sometimes." He said calmly. I let out a small laugh and held the rest in. "Maybe he keeps his enemies up his butt, that's why it's so big." That hit it; I broke out laughing which startled Butters. I slid down the lockers still laughing my ass off and soon, he started laughing too. As soon as I calmed myself down and stood up. I looked up at the clock and shook my head. "I've got to get out of here." I started to walk to the door. "Well why?" he asked. "Class is almost dismissed. I'm not allowed in the hallway while they go to the next class. I'll see you soon Butters." I gave him a wave and left, scowling the rest of the way out.

Butters

I looked at her while she left the building. She sure can be real nice when she's not with anyone else. "Her reputation." I whispered. That's what's keeping her locked up. If it wasn't for her reputation, she would be nicer. I sighed. She is a really great girl; sometimes people just don't give anyone a chance. If it wasn't for Kyle… I cringed at the mention of her super best friend. I don't know why I don't like talking about him; I just get this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. My eyes went wide. "Oh no." I begged. "I HAVE THE ANA PLAGUE!"


	3. make it stop

I walked around the field for a while. I thought things over so far; I'm banned from every class unless it's empty, I can't be in the hallways while people are there, and I can't speak to any of my friends in fear of getting mauled by their girlfriends. I stopped, clenching my fists and screaming at the top of my lungs, "BULLSHIT!" I kicked the basketball that was in front of me. "Kicking ze ball won't do you any good." I jumped and saw Christophe standing there with his arms crossed and a smirk written clear on his face. "Get the fuck away from me before Gregory comes and tries to kick my ass again." I growl at him walking away. He walked in front of me, blocking my way. "Well why are you zo zcared of my boyfriend? I thought you weren't zcared of anything." His smirk grew bigger. "Aren't you?" I scowled. "I can handle you prissy little boyfriend, it's all of the girls and him combined I can't handle." I mutter. "Well what happened to the Ana I uzed to know? The one who could handle anything? The beautiful little beech I uzed to want to do everything I could ever think of doing with?" he walked closer with each sentence and grabbed my shoulders. I blinked. "What?" he leaned in closer until our noses touched. He rubbed my shoulders lovingly. "I've felt like thiz ever zince I saw your beautiful face." I stared at him in complete shock as a blush crept onto my face. He leaned in closer as I finally came to my senses. "Wait whoa whoa!" he stopped and looked at me with warm brown eyes. "Did Cartman slip something in your drink or something?" he smiled at me and shook his head. His hands left my shoulders and he wrapped his arms around my waist. He leaned in again; I couldn't move, an inch. Mostly because of shock and I didn't really want to. "CHRISTOPHE!" A voice screamed. "Oh shit." We both mutter. I slipped away from his grip and ran towards the basketball courts with a flaming Gregory running after me. "CHRISTOPHE WHEN I KILL HER YOU'RE NEXT!" He yelled not moving his gaze from me. I ran to the back of the school and stopped. "What the hell did I do to deserve this?" I whispered, panting. I looked around, "I think I lost him." I turned and screamed. He was right there, arms crossed with a glare that could kill. I backed up as he made his way towards me. "Dude I swear! I didn't want that asshole to kiss me!" I begged. He grabbed my collar but suddenly stopped. He stared at me, frozen solid. "Gregory?" I ask. He raised his fist and I shut my eyes as he strikes. I felt nothing, not a thing. I slowly opened my eyes and I saw Gregory a bit too close for comfort. I turned my head to see his fist made a dent in the wall. I swallowed fearfully. I slip away from his grasp and backed away as he eyed me hungrily. I felt something warm on my back and hands on my shoulders and looked behind me slowly. "Let go Christophe." I growled. He shrugged. "I don't see why I should." I elbowed him in the ribs and ran when he let go with a slight growl. I ran. I don't have a clue where, I just did. I needed to get out of here, away from everything. What if Cartman was right? What if the Ana plague was real? Bullshit. I can't let that douche get to me. He paid them to do that, but why did they agree? They were probably short on money, but to stoop so low? I let out a pain filled grunt as I crashed into someone. I looked up. Oh shit. The one person I didn't want to see. "Stan?" he looked up at me. "Hey Ana." I looked around quickly. "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" He looked at me in concern. "What's wrong?" he leaned to grab my shoulder but I backed away. "Don't touch me." I begged. "Why not? What's going on Ana?" he asked. "I-I don't know. Just don't touch me. Please Stan, don't touch me." I said with pleading eyes. He looked at me sadly. He reached for my knee and I stood up quickly. He stood up after me. "Ana, please tell me what's wrong. I can help you." He pleaded. I shook my head. "Keep everyone away from me. Please, I'm so confused. Stay away. Keep everyone away. I don't like being apart from you guys for so long, but…" I looked for an excuse. "The girls will kill me. Tell Kenny and Kyle I miss them, ok?" he nodded. I ran for the door and ran in through the forest. I don't know what's happening, and frankly I don't want to know. I just hope it ends soon. The guys are like my family, I need my family to go on. Please. I stopped and fell to my knees. I cried. "YOU WIN FATSO! PLEASE! IM BEGGING YOU! PLEASE!" I screamed. I sobbed loudly. I need my friends, I need my family, I need Stan, I need Kenny, I need Kyle… "Make it stop." I begged. "Please… make it stop…"


	4. kyle the cat

I sat on a tree, humming a familiar tune. I looked at the beautiful horizon. I've always loved sunsets with a passion, it makes me feel like not everyone is different; to think that some of these assholes watch the exact same one. I looked up at the sky, clouds everywhere. "It's going to rain soon." I mutter. I shrug and keep staring at the pink, orange, and yellow masterpiece God made right in front of me. This was going to be a long night.

Kyle

"Hell no!" I screamed in fury. "Come on Kyle! Do it for Ana!" Stan pleaded. "She was so fucking scared it broke my heart! You would have started to fucking cry by the look on her face!" "Oh, so she'll magically feel better when she sees a cat in the middle of the forest?" I shouted. "Please Kyle! Just drink it! It's about to rain soon and Ana might get hurt!" He begged. "Do you know who you're talking about? You're talking about Ana! The girl who is tougher than anyone in South Park! And I am Kyle, the weakest dude in South Park and the size of a damn cat!" I mutter. "DUDE IF YOU DON'T FUCKING DRINK THIS I SWEAR I WILL START CRYING RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF THE DAMN YARD! IT'S YOUR FUCKING SUPER BEST FRIEND THAT'S IN DANGER!" He screeched. I stared at him, and then glared. "Fine give me the damn thing." I snatched it away from him and looked intently at the liquid. "For Ana." I mutter and drank it down.

Ana

I smile as the sun goes down peacefully. Then I hear a noise. Thunder. I get off my branch and walk back to town, but couldn't find the road. 'Oh shit.' I thought to myself. I walked around for a bit but it's getting dark. I sat on a rock. I could sleep on a branch like I did the last time. I agreed on it but froze when I heard a soft noise. "Meow." It said again. I looked down to see a reddish cat staring at me. I held back a squeal and picked it up. It had emerald eyes. I smiled, it reminds me of Kyle. I looked around if it had an owner, and gently set it down on my lap. I scratched it behind the ears and it purred softly. All of a sudden I felt something drip on my head. "What the-" I started but was interrupted by a shitload of water pouring down. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." I growl standing up. I jumped at the lightning bolt striking a tree. It fell towards us and I jumped out of the way. I wiped the stray hair from my face and stood up, the kitten shaking badly. I placed it in my dry undershirt and made my way through, trying to find a cave. I don't know why, but all I had in mind was the kitten, I don't know how, but I felt if I don't take care of this kitten, I'll lose someone I hold dear; and I don't know when, I actually cared so much of something else's safety. I had nothing else on my mind, but this cat.


	5. Is it real?

Ana

i roamed around the forest for awhile, mumbling inapropreate words in spanish under my breath. The kitten looked at me curiously, completly not understanding any of the words i'm saying. "Pinche gordo hijo de tu puta madre, si no abrerarias la boca nada de esto tenia que pasar. quado regreso, voy a meter te el autoestima por el culo.(fucking fatass son of a bitch, if you hadin't opened your mouth non of this would of happend. when i get back i'm going to shove your self esteem up your ass.)" He looked at me questionably. Then something hit me. "OH SHIT!" I yell out, startling him. "My mom is going to go on a rampage because i'm not home! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" the kitten looked worried for a minute. "I've gotta go home before she finds out i'm gone." i mutter, walking through the forest. I hope she doesn't get pissed off."

Stan

I pace back and forth in my room while Kenny lies on my bed staring at a picture in his playboy magazine. "How could you be looking at naked women right now dude! Ana and Kyle aren't back yet. What if Kyle got lost? What if he found her dead? what if Ana found him dead? WHAT IF THEY'RE BOTH DEAD AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LIKE BUMS?" Kenny looked at me boredly. "Dude i'm sure they're fine, you gotta trust them. i mean what's the worst that can happen?" i froze where i stood. "What if someone raped her." i looked over at Kenny to see his reaction. He layed there, eyes wide like sausers; completly frozen. He sat up, tugged on his parka and pulled on his shoes. "What are you doing Ken?" i ask. He turned to me, looking like he was about to drop on his knees and cry, and said, "I'm going to look for them." I nodded and stood up, pulling on my jacket and shoes as well. "I'm right behind you Kenny."

Wendy

"You know Bebe, i feel bad that i trusted Cartman over Ana. she's a really nice girl and i dont think she deserved to be taken away by her friends like that." Bebe shrugged. "She deserves it for being such a bitch all the time." i glared at her. "Alright Bebe, i know that you don't like her and all but she's a really nice girl once you get to know her." "And if you let her, she'll take your boyfriend right from under your nose." She added smugly. "Bebe i'm serious." i muttered. "So am i." she mumbled. "Alright, why don't you like Ana? She never did anything to you." She looked at me blankly. "That you didn't deserve." She rolled her brown eyes. "She acts like everyone cares about her when no one gives a rats ass." "Bebe, listen to me. A lot of people do care about her, hell, i'm so sure that I bet my own soul that Cartman cares about her." She sent me a death glare. "No one cares about her! No one does! she could be shot by her own brother and no one would give a damn!" i stood up and walked towards the door. "I can see what you're trying to say. you're in denial. you can't live with the fact that almost everyone cares about Ana and not you, that Kyle loves Ana more than he loves you." she threw her glass cup on the floor and shattered it. "Get the fuck out of my house! Get out and never come back! i never want to see your face again you damn bitch!" "I'm not the bitch here you fucking whore, you are! You want everyone to love you but they don't! You can't live with the fact that your own boyfriend would perfer her a lot more than you." I shrug. "Not my fault your a jealous bitch. See you Bebe." I walked out the door and closed it after she got a chance to hit me with a shard of glass. "SEE YOU YA BITCH!" I scream to her. i shook my head. 'Well that leaves Bebe out of the question.' i think blankly to myself. "WENDY!" Someone yelled out. i looked up and stopped, seeing that i was about to crash into a telephone pole. i looked over to the person who called my name. "Christophe?" He shook his head as he walked towards me. "What ze 'ell are you doing zpacing out like zat?" He muttered. "I was thinking Mr.I'm-always-so-perfect-all-the-god-damn-time." I growled. "Well, I zaw your boyfriend and Kenny go in ze forezt. What iz zat all about?" He asked boredly. "I don't know. Maby they decided to look for Ana, i'm thinking of going myself." I saw something in his eyes, but then they turned bored again. "Who are you going with?" He asked. I blinked. "Myself. I was going to ask Bebe but we got in a fight." He looked around nervously. I raise an eyebrow. "Did, you want to come? I mean, i could use all the help I could get." He looked up and nodded. "I'll help you find 'er." We walked towards the forest. "Why help all of the sudden?" i asked. He looked down. "I don't know. i juzt got ziz intrezt in her all of a zudden." I looked at him. "Do you think, the Ana plauge is true? That Cartman didn't just make it up?" He looked back at me angrily. "I don't know, zat iz why i'm zo angry right now. i don't know if it'z real or if it'z all just in my head." i nod understandingly. "Poor Ana, she can't hang around the people that are like her family only because we threatened to maul her if she comes anywhere near them." he nods back. "Hey, Christophe? Did Gregory ever... you know... find you two together?" I ask. He cringes. "Yea, he haz. he chazed 'er around ze courtz zcreaming threats at 'er." I look down. "Has he...caught her?" He nodded. "Yez, he haz. but zen he..." He looked over to me questionably. "Leaned in to kizz 'er." We looked at each other for a moment. "The Ana plague?"


	6. found her!

I'm completly in love with this song. i don't own it though.

Wendy

We walked the rest of the way in silece. That converstation I had with Christophe really got to me, what if the Ana Plague was just our imagination? What if Cartman wasin't lying about the so called plague? And if it is real, where did it come from? How did it get here? Why is it here? I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it . We suddenly heard a crash. "Kenny! are you okay?" Stan's voice asked. "Yeah, i'm fine. I think I stepped in a rabbit hole." Kenny's voice mumbled. We both ran to the voices. "Stan?" I asked. He looked up at me. "Wendy? What are you doing here?" He asked. "Christophe and I wanted to look for Ana." Christophe walked over to Kenny and stuck out his hand. Kenny took it greatfully. "Thanks dude." "Whatever." Christophe muttered. All of a sudden, we heard a soft noise.

"She's got both hands, in her pocket,

and she won't look at you, won't look at you.

and she hides through love, in su bolsillo,

she's got a halo around her finger, around you.

You know that I love you boy, hot like mexico, rejoice.

at this point i've gotta choose, nothing to lose.

Don't call my name, don't call my name, Alejandro.

I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe, Fernando.

Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch, just smoke my cigarette hush,

don't call my name, don't call my name, Roberto.

Alejandro, Alejandro.

Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro.

Alejandro, Alejandro.

Ale- Alejandro, Ale- Alejandro.

She's not broken, she's just a baby.

And her boyfriend's like a dad, just like a dad.

And all those things that, burned before him.

Now he's gonna fire high gonna fool the bad.

You know that I love you boy, hot like Mexico, rejoice.

At this point i've got to choose, nothing to lose.

Don't call my name, don't call my name, Alejandro.

I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe, Fernando.

Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch, just smoke my cigarette, hush.

Don't call my name, don't call my name, Roberto.

Alejandro, Alejandro.

Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro.

Alejandro, Alejandro.

Ale- Alejandro, Ale- Alejandro.

Alejandro."

We ran after the voice and saw Ana on a tree, petting an adorible red kitten. "ANA!" Stan yelled up. She looked down and jumped off the branch with ease. "Wazzup?" She muttered. Christophe, Kenny and I stared at the kitten. "Where did you get this adorible thing!" I squealed. "I found him running around in the forest." She answered. "Can I hold it?" I ask. She hands it over and i hug it gingerly. "It's so cute." I whispered. We heard thunder. "Oh shit, i've got to get home. Ana please go back with the guys. Just don't touch them just to be safe." She nodded as i gave the kitten back to her. "I'll see you guys at school." i waved him off and left.

i totally have a writers block right now, review and make any suggestions on how to make the story better!


	7. what in hell?

Ana

We stood there silently, Kenny, Christophe, and I shooting glances at each other while Stan stared at the kitten in my shirt. Kenny opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but then he would close it. "You look like a fish right now, Kenny. Opening and closing your mouth like that." I mutter. He smirks at me. "It's about time you said something, princess." I shot a glare at him. "Shut your mouth you poor piece of shit." He pretended to look hurt. "You really think I'm a- Oh my god I can't even keep a straight face if you look at me like that you little bitch!" He laughed, clutching his sides. I roll my eyes at him. I glance over at Stan, who was still staring at the kitten in my shirt. "What? You have felinephobia or some shit, Stan?" He looked away. "No, I was just wondering where you found the cat." "Well, I was sitting on a log thinking and all of a sudden i heard a meow." I shrugged. "I looked over and I saw this kitten." Chistophe decided to speak after a while of silence, "We should get going home, it's getting late and it might rain soon." We nodded and start walking our seprate ways. "Wait! Ana!" Stan shreiked. "What?" He stood there with his mouth opened. "Um..." I rolled my eyes. "In this time period Stan." He reached out to touch me but I backed up. "Er, I was... um... wondering if i could talk to you, at my house?" He asked nervously. I cocked an eyebrow. "Uh... sure Stan. Why not?" We walked the rest of the way home silently.

Stan

Alright, how do you tell a girl that her super best friend is inside her shirt without making her pass out? How do you tell a girl you turned her super best friend into a cat without getting mauled? God I could really use some help here... alright fine! if you won't help me, then screw you! "Hey Ana? Have you ever wondered where Kyle's at?" I asked. "I guess, why?" She asked. "Just wondering." 'Come on marsh! your straying from the subject!' I thought to myself. "Hey, what would say if I told you that Kyle is right here right now?" I asked. She looked at me strangly. "I would say, where?" "What would you say if i said he's so close to you, your touching?" She looked around. "I would say your nuts." "But what if i said, that that cat is Kyle?" She looked at me blankly. "Then I would say you need therapy." "what if I said I was telling the truth?" "Then i would say to prove it."

"You guys?"

"But what would you say if i said that i couldn't?" "Then i would ask why?" "What would you say if I said that you'd freak out?" "Then i would say to show me before i seriously injure you."

"Guys?"

"But what if I tell you, you'll hurt me anyway?" "Then i would tell you that i won't" "But what if it's so shocking you'll do it anyway?" "I would say that i have self control."

"Mexicans aren't sluts, they just judge people on how they act and dress, either that or it's just an illusion."

"Kenny what the fuck?" Ana asked punching him on the shoulder.

"Well you guys where argueing all the way home, untill you where mindlessly blabbering infront of Stans door." Kenny muttered rubbing his shoulder. She rolled her eyes as i unlocked the door and went in.

"Just give me the cat and I'll show you." She gave me the cat and i set it down on the floor. I pulled out the antidote. I poured it in a bowl and set it infront of Kyle. "I gave him a potion from Mephisto." Kyle lapped up the antidote and crawled over to her. "It'll take a while for it to take effect." Ana petted him lovingly. "Your so cute Kyle." He purred and licked her hand. "I like Kyle like this." She cooed. "Well he can't stay like that forever Ana." I said. "I know." She pouted. "But he's so cute!" He cuddled up to her, purring softly. Kyle licked her cheek gingerly. "Aw." Kenny whispered. "This is just wrong Kenny, Kyle doesin't know what he's doing." "He's in there more than you know, Stan." He pointed out. Ana scratched him behind the ears softly. "Ana's an actractive person, it's practally impossible to ressist her." Kenny smirked. Ana stopped scratching Kyle and slammed her hand across Kenny's head. "Ow!" Our ears perked up as we heard a strained 'Ana.' come from Kyle. Ana looked at him and he looked back. "What is it baby?" She asked. He thrusted his head in Ana's hand. "Aw, little Kyle here is jealous. He wants all of Ana's attencion." Stan rolled his eyes. "Well guess what pussy cat, she's mine!" Kenny said bitterly. Kyle hissed at him. "Go ahead and hiss all you want you damn cat but she's mine! She's mine and no one else's! That means you Kyle!" Kenny hissed back. "Kenny calm down dude he's just a little cat." Ana muttered. They growled at each other. I stood up. "Hey Ana, can you come with me to get some water?" They both glare at me. "Sure, come on Stan." She mutters standing up with me. "Well, how does it feel to be fought over by Kenny and Kitty Kyle?" I smirk. "Oh shut up Stan."

I still have some kind of writer's block so keep sending suggestions.


	8. confession

Ana and I sat on the couch, watching amusingly at our two friends glare at each other from across the room. "This is a bit weird isn't it?" Ana muttered over to me. "Yep." i muttered back. We've tried to snap them out of it, but when it comes to a girl, you just don't get in the way. "Hey Stan, can we get something to eat?" She asked. "Want some pizza?" I asked looking at her. "Sure." She murmered, standing up. "You guys, we're going to get some pizza, you wanna come?" They stayed silent. Ana sighed irratbly, "Stan and I are going to have sex now," They glared at us before she finished her sentence. "Now that I got your fucking attencion, Stan and I are going to get some pizza, do want to come or not?" Kyle crawled over to me and rubbed his head against my leg. "Show off." Kenny murmered. I picked him up and walked over to Kenny. I held out my hand and he grabbed it. I lifted him off the couch and led him to the door muttering a "Let's go." over to Stan who nodded amusingly at how I've got both boys wrapped around my finger. When we got there, we saw and Mr. Hat. "Well hello pretty lady." Mr. Hat said once he 'saw' me. "Um... hello Mr. Hat." "Oh Mr. Hat leave her alone! Men." She rolled her eyes at Mr. Hat. "Oh I know what you mean." I muttered motioning towards Kenny with my eyes. "Oh I know! There such a pain sometimes." She whispered, reffering to the guys. "Hey! We're right here you know!" Kenny and Stan yelled. "We know." We both muttered. "Mr. Hat, could you and the boy's get the pizza's for us? We need some time to talk." Ms. Garrison asked. "But-" Mr. Hat went to argue but Ms. Garrison gave him a harsh glare. "Ok." He sighed in defeat. He said another cheap pick up line and Ms. Garrison slapped him in the back of the head. "MR. HAT!" She screamed. He 'raised' his hands in defense. "Fine." He pouted like a five year old. Ms. Garrison motioned to the chairs and we both sat down. "I apologize greatly for Mr. Hat's actions. He could be so inscessitive sometimes." "I could see." "Well I have to ask," She leaned in. "What's it like hanging around guys all the time?" I mentally sigh at her attemt to be 'girlish'. No matter how much she trys, she will always be classified as male because of her horrorific apperence, though she is truly kind inside. I smirk to myself at how I poetically dissed Ms. Garrison. "Pretty good I guess." I said calmly, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at what I just thought. Ana Sove doesn't giggle, she laughs. Like a hyena. A deadly one, but I never giggle. "Well, how do you feel about Stanley?" "Like, or like like?" I said, drinking the water Kenny gave me. "Like-like." I choke on the fresh liquid, thanking myself that i didn't spit it out. "Oh, well, he is kinda cute, but not really... my type of guy." She nodded understandingly. "I see, what about Kenny?" I looked at her. "Er, he's sweet... I guess. really hansome." Kyle sighed in my shirt though I completly forgot he was there. She smiled warmly. "Eric." I looked at her in pure disgust. "Ugh the fatass? I've never hated someone as much as I do him. He's the one who started all the talk of the 'Ana Plauge'. He could go rot in hell for all I care!" Kyle smiled to himself, greatful she hasin't had any feelings for the fat brunnette. "What about Kyle?" This caught his attencion. "He's... well... you can't say much about the subject." Kyle felt his heart sink. "I love him, so much. I would kill the bastered that hurt him or made tears fall down his face. I would jump off a cliff if that's what made him happy. I wouldn't care if he hated me for the rest of time, i'd never let go of the feelings I have for him. He's my best friend, no wait, he isint, he's my super best friend. Capital S. Hell, capital SUPER. He's something not everyone can find, someone that everyone NEEDS in life. Someone that I now can't live without. If he died I would go right behind him either because of shock, or suicide. If he wanted me to burn in hell and nothing else made him happier than that, then I would go to Damien and tell him to rip up the restraining order his father has for me cause my super best friend sent me to hell to burn for the rest of my life and that's what I intend on doing. I'd jump in a volcano just to see him enjoy life. I would dress up as Hitler and start accusing Cartman of being Jewish just for his amusement. I would watch scary movies with him just to feel him against me, clinging on for dear life, but he loves them. I would dress up as a clown and say I was cartman's real mother and have him freak out just to see him laugh. I love Kyle with everything I have and I think I made myself clear haven't I?" I laughed at Ms. Garrison's reaction. "Why yes you have, hunny... yes you have." They shared a laugh and kept talking until it was time to leave. "It was nice talking to you, we should do it again soon." She smiled. "We should, bye." Mr. Hat shot another pick up line while Ms. Garrison screamed at him, telling him to put a sock in it. We all laughed the rest of the way homw. Kyle slipped from under my shirt and cuddled up next to me. I petted his head and we spent the rest of the way home cracking jokes and smart mouthing each other. Today wasin't so bad after all.

This was for Zombies are evil. I hope your happy with this story, I put Mr. Hat in it for you, it actually gave me some ideas so thanks! Review and name the next person you want to be on the next chapter. thanks! Nice reviews please and flames I will use to roast marshmellows with! Haters... why did you click on it in the first place?


	9. Maya

"CRAP!" I scream as I open my locker.

It's Valentines day today and I've just been hit with a bunch of notes, flowers, stuffed animals and all that jazz.

Kyle grinned in amusment. He turned human again because of an antidote Mephesto gave us. He wouldn't give it at first so I had to beat it out of him. "The Ana Plague?" He asked.

"Shut up!" I huffed. I kneeled down and picked up one of the cards, 'From: Damien.' It said.

I dropped it in shock and looked at Kyle, "Okay, maby it is the Ana plague... but it's not like I'm enjoying this!"

All of a sudden I heard a scream; It was Bebe.

I started to grin.

"This... is all yours?" She asked weakly. I nodded, the grin noticable on my face,

"Yeah, it's all mine."

She looked at me, then at the stuff piled on the floor, then back at me again.

"How the hell could you get all this... and I get nothing?" I shrugged,

"Who knows, maby your losing your touch."

She let out a scream and stomped off.

"Still not enjoying it?" Kyle asked teasingly.

"Oh hell yeah I'm enjoying this!" I stated happily. We picked up everything off the floor and shoved it back in my locker.

All of a sudden I felt a slap on my arm. "Shit!" I hollared out, rubbing it tenderly. I heard a familiar laugh and I cursed silently to myself. "Maya?" I muttered quietly.

"Who do you think it is? The president?" She said in spanish.

I groaned to myself, "You've got to be kidding me! I thought I finally got away from you in-" I stopped myself, not wanting to continue after seeing the death glare she gave me.

"Well anyway, does your brother still think you're a vampire?" I mutter, trying to change the subject.

"He still thinks I'm gonna blow up if i step foot in church and rubs holy water on my while I'm asleep."

"I'll take that as a yes." I laugh.

Maya was a lot shorter than me, maybe it was because I was a giant compared to her, and had long, curly brown hair down to the mid-back. She had brown eyes that could freeze you in mid-step. I got that from her.

"Still carrying that load Maya? I thought you busted your back by now." She shrugged

"Old habits die hard I guess."

"Who's the shrimp?"

We turned to see Cartman motioning to Maya with his thumb.

"Fatso I should warn you now, do not, I mean DO NOT make fun of her size." I warn him, secretly wishing he would continue.

He scoffed, "What's this pipsqeak gonna do? Call her mommy?"

She twiched, and I smirked, knowing what was coming.

"I warned ya." I stated simply.

Maya grabbed his hand and twisted it around his back; soon leaving him on the floor screaming his fat ass off, everyone gasped while I stood there looking at her proudly.

"My buddy."

She got off him and slammed her fist against his skull and he let out a whimper.

"Fat son of a pig!" She screamed in spanish. Oh how much I missed Maya.

Maya if you're reading this please don't distroy me! (I know you are anyway but it's good to have hope eh?) Please review and flames I will use to set Cartman on fire.


	10. animal

Maya and I sat angrily in the deans office, Maya because she's never gotten into any trouble before, and me because I had absolutly nothing to do with anything! Why should I get in trouble if I didn't do anything? 's a bitch.

"Go in," The secratary muttered boredly.

We stood up and walked (Stomped) over to the principal's door. I stopped Maya as she went to open the door,

"Maya, if the principal makes you mad in anyway, please, for the love of God, please control your temper. She could be a real bitch when she wants to be."

She gave me a look, "Ana, I know how to control myself. I'm not an animal you know."

"THE FAT KID DESERVED IT! HE WAS BEING AN ASS!" Maya screamed in fury, slamming her fist on the principal's desk.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in annoyance, so much for keeping peace around here.

"YOUNG LADY! YOU DO NOT CURSE AT THIS SCHOOL! AND YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO NEARLY KILL THE BOY!" The principal shouted back, equally as hard.

"Maya, sit down before you get in trouble." I said pleadingly. Of course she ignored me like dirt.

"YOU HAVE DETENCION FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!" The teacher announced.

Maya rolled her eyes at her. "I don't go to this school, digbat." She stated smugly.

The pricipal turned red with anger, then she looked at me. I gulped loudly as a grin formed on her face. "Fine," She shrugged, "Then I'm going to have to give Ana detencion for two days."

I gaped at her. She can't be serious; she wouldn't dare.

"Ana doesn't care." Maya huffed. I spoke up, "Uh, yeah I do!"

"Leave my office!"

"No!" Maya argued

"Three days!"

My mouth fell open, Hell no.

"She doesn't give a damn lady!"

"Four days!"

I stood and started to push Maya out, "Get outta here man!"

"Ya old bat!"

"A week!"

"MAYA GET OUT!" I yelled furiously, finally dragging her out of the office.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I have detencion for a whole fucking week!"

"Hey!" Mr. Makey yelled, "We don't curse at this school!"

"Go to hell and let satan fuck you up the ass with a damn pitchfork!" I screamed back.

He looked taken back and kept walking.

"What's the big deal? It's just detencion."

I narrowed my eyes at her, just a detencion?

"I have to sit with Cartman, almost all day after school. Alone. Does that sound like just a detencion?"

She looked at me sadly, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you had to sit in a room alone with him."

I gave a sigh, "Lets just go home, alright? I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to."

She nodded and we walked home in silence.


	11. Detencion

I glared at my desk angrily, I don't deserve to be here. Damn Maya just had to open her big mouth.

"Sove? What the hell are you doing here?"

"A friend of mine mouthed off to the principal and I got in trouble for it," I shook my head,

"What are you in for?"

"I flipped off a teacher." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Again?" He grinned,

"Again."

"I swear you have some serious issues." He frowned at me.

"I stopped flipping people off for a while." I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"That's only because I threatened to shoot you if you flipped me off again, so you taped your finger to your hand."

"Touche."

I jumped when I heard someone slam their books on a desk,

"Oh hell no! The Mexican rat's here too?" I slammed my head on the desk as Mr. Makey told Cartman to shut up and sit down.

I stared at the wall for a while and twiched when I felt somthing wet on my hair. I reached up and grabbed it and looked at it; a spit ball. I dropped it in disgust and wiped my hand on Craig's jacket. He looked at me strangly,

"I have a girlfriend you know." I stare at him confused for a moment, then finally understood.

"That's gross dude. I was wiping the spit from a spit ball on your jacket." His nose wrinckled up.

"Weak." he muttered, taking it off and throwing it on the floor, "I'm gonna have to burn this now." I rolled my eyes at his stupidness,

"Don't be so over dramatic Craig."

The door slammed open and Butters ran in.

"H-here ya go sir," He handed a piece of paper.

"Alright Butters, you could wait until your parents get here. Go take a seat."

He turned towards us and I saw his face get hot as his eyes landed on me. He lowered his head nervously and shuffled past me. I leaned away from him as he passed by my desk, I really hate this Ana Plague thing but I don't want to get Butters into this. My wishes were ignored though, when Butters decided to sit behind me. I started to stand but got stopped by Mr. Mackey slamming his books on my desk. I sat down and leaned away from his scowling face.

"Is there a problem, Ms. Sove?"

I was going to say something but changed my mind when I say him lean closer, looking at me through his thick glasses.

"No sir." I say quietly, trying to not make any physical contact with him. He leaned back and stomped over to his desk.

"Haha the Mexican slut got introuble." Cartman whispered teasingly.

"Shut your damn mouth Cartman!" I whisper back angrily.

For the rest of the day, I sat at my desk drawing dying stick figures on my notebook, so far I have 39 of Maya, 21 of the principal, 66 of Mr. Mackey, and 92 of Cartman. Very good therapy I have to tell you.

"Alright guys, you could go." We ran out the class, I made sure I didn't touch anyone and ran out the doors.

"Well you seem pretty happy."

"Shut up Kyle." He laughed slightly.

"Is that the way to treat the guy who waited forever for you to come out?"

"What's the real reason?" He sighed.

"I was waiting for you and Stan, happy now for ruining my moment?" I grinned,

"Very." he glared at me.

"Hey guys," Stan ran up to us, about to touch me but raised his hand at the last minute.

"Sorry, I've got to get used to that."

"This is starting to feel like a Mary-sue don't it?" I realized.

"Yeah, it is," We shuddered.

"I'm going to head on home, nothing else for me to do here."

"Are you sure? We're going to die Cartman's cat purple, you wanna come?"

I shook my head, "Nah, I'm still in trouble for being out for too long remember?" They nodded embarressedly.

"Sorry about that." I shrugged, "Just make sure you draw flowers and hearts while you're at it!" I started walking off.

"Good idea! We'll write Ana's name all over him too!"

Son of a bitch.


	12. tweek

Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I was kinda busy lately and wasn't feeling like IT anymore. I also have this massive writers block and need some help, anywhoo, here it is!

My eyes snap open at the sound of my mother hollering Spanish cuss words at me, as she does every morning. I threw my feet off my mattress on the floor and sat up tiredly, only to hit the bed again out of laziness.

"Ana Laura!" my mother screeched out angrily.

I stumbled back up in a start, throwing my blanket across the room in pure fear. I don't like it when ma starts saying my full name, one because I hate it, and two because it means she's pissed off,

And NO ONE likes it when she's pissed off.

I stand up on wobbly legs, dragging myself to my worn out closet and doing my daily routine. My brother opened the door in the middle of me brushing my teeth.

Now, I don't think I've introduced my little brother. So why not start now? This little kindergarten ball of sunshine is Maxwell Sove. He has jet black hair and blue eyes like mine, pure Mexican looking except for the eyes. I still don't have the slightest idea where the hell we got them.

"Whaa?" he wiped the toothpaste off his cheek when I accidently spit on him.

"I need five bucks." I looked at him suspiciously.

"Fo' wha?"

He grinned sheepishly,

"I owe this kid five bucks cuz I lost a bet."

"Wha kinda bet?"

He looked away shyly,

"I told him I could get him a date with you."

I spit out the toothpaste in the sink, looking at him blankly afterwards.

"What's wrong with you?" he started to whine,

"Common Ana, I needed five bucks and he has a massive crush on you!"

I flicked him on the head,

"That doesn't mean you could use that to your advantage and get a couple of bucks. You're on your own."

He looked at me with pleading eyes,

"Please? It's Chester."

"That no good son of a bitch? You made a bet with that?"

I grunt after a shoe made contact with my head.

"Watch the language."

I growled at my angry mother,

"Sorry mum."

I turned back to max, getting out my wallet and giving him five bucks.

"I'm gonna kill you next time you do it kid, understand?"

He nodded happily and ran off somewhere I frankly don't care about at the moment.

I grabbed my backpack and dragged it to the kitchen. I grabbed an apple and took a bite,

"Don't drag the damn backpack, you'll get it dirty." My mother spoke nothing but Spanish, so it was obvious I took advantage of this glorious ability I have,

"Shut up fucking bitch I'll do whatever the hell I want." I picked up my bag and hung it over my shoulder.

"What?" her voice was dripping with venom,

"Sorry mom I'll do it right away." I said in Spanish, using my sorry voice.

I flipped her off after she turned away. I opened the white wooden door, letting in a blast of cold air that instantly turned my cheeks and nose a light pink. I closed the door behind me after I adjusted my backpack, only to have it fall back on the floor. It looks better on the floor anyway.

I drag it and myself to the bus stop, leaning against the sign tiredly. I still sadly take the bus to school. Why? I still take that god forsaken bus because my parents don't think I'm ready for a car. What a bunch of crocks. Because of that I normally hitched a ride with Stan or Kyle along with Kenny, since he sadly can't afford a car. I have to admit, I myself feel kinda sorry for poor Kenny. He may not have much, but he has a heart of gold…. When he's not drawing boobs on his papers.

I saw a shaking form from the corner of my eye; it completely froze when I turned to get a better look. I felt my eyes widen at Tweek. He was unmoving, completely still.

"By god…" I whispered, cocking my head to the side in amazement.

"Tweek?"

"Gah!" he let out a squeak and flattened himself on the wall, he didn't dare move. I stretched my arm out to touch him.

"Tweek?"

He looked at my hand like it was poison,

"I don't w-want to g-get i-infected!" I looked at him, plainly confused.

"Infected with what?"

"The Ana Plague!" I let out an angry cuss,

_I forgot about that._

I slowly placed my hand to my side,

"Sorry tweekers, I kinda forgot about that." I said in the softest voice I could muster up. He seemed to relax a bit.

"You kinda scared me since you stopped shaking." He looked away shyly,

"I guess it grew into a habit that I constantly shake huh?"

"Yeah, especially since you were kinda our replacement for Kenny." He looked a bit sad after that. I quickly came up with something else,

"But you made sure we wouldn't get in so much trouble, and you put up with us and our complete bitchiness."

I had to give Tweek credit for that, we were a bunch of little brats.

He gave me a small smile,

"Hey, when the whole 'Ana Plague' bullshit is over, do you wanna hang out sometime?"

He blushed lightly, nodding his head quickly,

"Yeah, that'd be cool." He said quietly, twitching a bit.

"Who are you waiting for?"

"Craig." He squeaked. I nodded, waving him off while getting on the bus,

"See you around."

He waved back, watching the bus as it drove away. He had a bubbly feeling in his stomach. He rubbed it slightly, wondering what was happening until reality bitch slapped him in the face,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE ANA PLAGUE!"

Well that's all I'm writing for now. I decided to get tweekers next. I'm thinking about getting either clyde or craig next so please help me with that!


	13. losing them

No one was on the bus when I got on, which was good so I wouldn't have to worry about anyone touching me. I got off on my stop and had to walk a few more blocks until I made it to school. I made sure I took my sweet time getting there, since I wasn't allowed in the hallways when people were there. My mother made me go to school because she didn't beleive the Ana Plague thing, neither Mrs. Broflonski, Ms. Cartman, , and Mrs. Marsh, but their husbands kept a real close eye on me and kept their distance and pulled their sons along.

Weirdos.

By the time I got to school, it was completley empty, I looked at the clock and realised class had already started. I didn't need to worry about any late people walking around in the halls, the plague had scared them so bad that they decided to be in class on time. Something caught my eye on the school board, though, while I was walking past it in the hall,

**The Ana Plague has spread through the air!**

_Fellow South Parkian (A.N:Not sure if thats a word.) Tweek Tweak has been infected by the Ana Plague while talking to, Anita Laura Sove. They seemed to have made no physical contact but he has been diagnosed with said plague along with:_

_Leopold (Butters) Stotch,_

_Christophe DeLorne,_

_Damien Thorn,_

_Gregory Smith_

_And_

_Mr. Hat._

_All male South Park residents that were not listed on this bulliten are required to wear a gas mask for protection. We need to protect ourselves because we are all at risk!_

_-Eric Theodore Cartman._

I raised an eyebrow at what I've read.

Mr. Hat? He's a puppet for Pete's sake!

I also realised that Butters was infected too, I saddened.

I guess it was too late for poor Butters.

I grabbed my bag and dragged myself to the bathroom, the bell would ring any minute and I would get in trouble if I was in the hall.

I sat on the sink counter for a while, waiting silently for the bell to ring but instead felt something viabrate in my pocket, I took out my phone and answered politley after checking who it was,

"Hello?"

"Yes, dear, it's Sheila."

"Oh, hello Mrs. Broflonski."

"Dear, Gerald is getting very worried about Kyle and Ike, and you know I don't believe in the Ana Plague, you know I don't, but this is getting very serious and I just want my bubbula to be safe."

She isn't...

"What are you implying Ma'am?" I asked nervously, I heard her sigh lightly,

"I'm afraid you won't be able to see Kyle until this whole thing blows over. I'm very sorry it has come to this, Darling. I know it'll hurt you and my little Kyle, but it's for the best. Understand?"

I let out a shaky breath,

"Yes, I understand."

"You also won't be able to talk to him on the phone because Gerald is afriad it might come through it, that's why he didn't tell you himself. I know this must be terrible for you Anita but it's what I have to do."

"No, no, I get it."

"Again, I'm very sorry."

"It's alright, really it's okay."

"Thank you so much for understand honey, I feel awful. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." I clicked the end button and tried to compose myself,

This was bound to happen sooner or later.

"Ana?" I looked up to see Wendy come out of the stall quietly,

"What did Mrs. Broflonski tell you?" I looked at my lap,

"I can't see Kyle anymore." She looked at me in complete sadness,

"I'm so sorry." I shrugged her off,

"It's fine, It was going to happen anyway." I motioned to the door,

"Hurry back to class, the bell's about to ring." She nodded and walked out after taking another look at me. I stared at the stall infront of me until I heard the bell ring.

I'm screwed over.

After hearing the bell ring throughout the empty halls, I hopped down from the sink and grabbed my bag. I walked out and walked to where Kyle was, peeking through the window. He looked pretty happy, conentrated, and content.

Wait 'til he goes home.

I turned and walked to my second period, sitting down beside the door and listening in to the lesson, which was English. I took out my notepad and wrote down some notes, better to actually learn here than to just walk around. I glanced at the clock and packed up my stuff in a hurry, getting up and sprinting over to the bathroom. I flew through the door just when the bell rang and the kids were released. I sighed tiredly,

"That was close."

when the bell has rung, I moved on to my third period, and decided to skip forth to go to get some food.

"Hey chef."

"Hello children, what are you doing here? lunch doesn't start unti-" He was cut off when he turned around and saw my face, he backed up slightly and grabbed his mask, putting it on his face.

"H-hello Anita," He got nervous, "What can I get for you?"

I rolled my eyes, this reminded me so much of Juvie.

"Just give me whatever we have, Chef." He nodded and hurried off to get something, coming back with a hand burger and slid it in my direction. I grabbed it,

"Thanks, Chef."

"N-no problem."

I walked to a corner and ate there silently on Ms. Garrisons kind request, she didn't want me to infect the table that would then infect the kids. I had to give her credit, I never thought of that. After I was done, I gave Ms. Garrison my plate and we watched it catch on fire by her lighter. She said the trash can would get infected and the garbageman would then get infected, man she uses her head!

I waved her away after I said bye to a nervous Chef.

I sat in the bathroom after getting some notes from fourth period for the rest of lunch and fifth period, all I had for fifth period was Choir. I played around with my phone before getting another call, I answered,

"Hello?"

"Hello darling, it's Kenny's mom."

"Oh heya Mrs. McCormick," her accent was rubbing off on me,

"Sheila told me what she said to you honey, I wanted to see how you were taking it."

"Oh, well I'm fine. I was pretty hurt but it was for the best."

"That's great, sweetie, but i'm afraid that I have some more bad news."

Here we go,

"Don't tell me, Mr. McCormick has the same feelings?"

"I'm very sorry, Stuwart just wants Kenny to be safe, he is the youngest after all."

"I understand."

"You don't know how much it hurts me to say this, Darling. I just wish you the best of luck and hopfully this will end soon."

"Alright, thank you for telling me."

"Goodbye honey."

"Bye."

I hung up,

Well, that just leaves Stan and the fatass.

I knew Stan wasn't going to last long though.

After fifth period was over and they were all in their classes, I made my way out of the bathroom and to my last period before I could go home. I made myself comfortable on the floor and listened in to the class, writing down notes for a test I won't be able to take. Maybe I could ask Ms. Salski to give me one after class tomorrow, she could have it back, grade it, and burn it before it could infect anyone. I nodded in agreement and continued writing my notes. After a while of writing, I put my stuff back in my bag and stood to leave. Looking at the door when Maya came out of it, we stared at each other,

"Why are you here?"

"My mom got me enrolled, so the principle said you didn't have detencion anymore."

"Oh, well I better go, the bell's about to ring and people will kill me if I'm not out of here."

She nodded and I sprinted off, waiting for the next bus to come.

There, I gave you all a pretty long chapter if I do say so myself. No one got infected with it yet cuz I don't have enough votes, so tell me, Craig or Clyde?


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